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Post by Peruhomer on May 12, 2013 6:24:14 GMT -5
Overpopulation is an epidemic that has hit all of our towns. Our resources are scarce and need to be used more wisely. It is with this in mind, I have redesigned my health service for the benefit of those who need it most, the elderly.  It works like this, a member of the geriatric community takes a tumble within the retirement home. There is an ambulance waiting outside to rush them to the clinic to be badly misdiagnosed by Dr Nick and referred for fatally blundered surgery by Dr Hibbert. Their fresh corpse is then burned in the crematorium (ok, I don't actually have a crematorium, it's just a fire within some white fences. However, please note that they are white fences and not the cheap brown fences. It's 5 * all the way in my town) and finally their ashes are spread in the cemetery (no more using precious land for burying the dead) I believe that I can turn all of this around within 24 hours, at minimum cost and with the satisfaction that I'm doing my bit to protect the environment. I even provide entertainment as grandad watches the fate of his fellow companions whilst enjoying a big bag of popcorn. |
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Post by Admin on May 12, 2013 6:51:15 GMT -5
Very nice! It's like a conveyor belt for the oldies. Down the line please!
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Post by Andy on May 12, 2013 7:23:07 GMT -5
Haha, I love Peruhomer threads. My only question is, how do those two eggs fit into all of this? |
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Post by Peruhomer on May 12, 2013 8:14:21 GMT -5
Haha, I love Peruhomer threads. My only question is, how do those two eggs fit into all of this? That is a good question. I have not whacked an egg or snake since 9th May, in a silent and pointless protest against EA. In a similar way, I have not eaten an Opal Fruit since 1998 when their name was changed to Starburst. I did manage to complete the somewhat painful transition that was accepting a Marathon would now be known as a Snickers. However, Starburst was and continues to be an outrage. |
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Post by Admin on May 12, 2013 8:32:06 GMT -5
They've always been Snickers here in the States and I would never give them up even if they changed the name. Snickers is my favorite candy bar even though it has peanuts. It's weird, I dislike peanuts, but love Snickers.
Also, Snickers.
oh, and I've never heard of Opal Fruit, just Starburst.
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Post by Peruhomer on May 12, 2013 9:20:56 GMT -5
They've always been Snickers here in the States and I would never give them up even if they changed the name. Snickers is my favorite candy bar even though it has peanuts. It's weird, I dislike peanuts, but love Snickers. Also, Snickers. oh, and I've never heard of Opal Fruit, just Starburst. Opal Fruits were very much like Starburst. In fact, they were identical but they were called Opal Fruits and therefore tasted much nicer. Americans also tried to rebrand our 'Coco Pops' as 'Choco Crispies'. However, this turned out to be a bridge too far and amid chaos and rioting in the street, Kellogg's switched the name back. I find your use of the word 'Snickers' to be offensive and believe that you should apologise. |
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Post by jiffla on May 12, 2013 9:21:38 GMT -5
Haha, I love Peruhomer threads. My only question is, how do those two eggs fit into all of this? That is a good question. I have not whacked an egg or snake since 9th May, in a silent and pointless protest against EA. In a similar way, I have not eaten an Opal Fruit since 1998 when their name was changed to Starburst. I did manage to complete the somewhat painful transition that was accepting a Marathon would now be known as a Snickers. However, Starburst was and continues to be an outrage. I will always call them opal fruits. They're made to make your mouth water. Starburst still sounds weird to me, fifteen years after they were changed! but then I still call Cif "Jif" and oil of Olay "oil of Ulay". I don't cope with change very well. and that choco crispies nightmare was just wrong on every level, glad that Kellogg's saw sense and changed it back. |
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Post by Admin on May 12, 2013 10:12:34 GMT -5
Opal Fruits were very much like Starburst. In fact, they were identical but they were called Opal Fruits and therefore tasted much nicer. Americans also tried to rebrand our 'Coco Pops' as 'Choco Crispies'. However, this turned out to be a bridge too far and amid chaos and rioting in the street, Kellogg's switched the name back. I find your use of the word 'Snickers' to be offensive and believe that you should apologise. I know Wikipedia isn't a reliable source, but I'll give you Opal Fruits because it said it was first launched in the UK with that name and when it was brought to the US they named it Starburst. Snickers on the other hand was named after the Mars family horse, so I will not apologize!  We haven't had a good derailment in a while, that felt good. |
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Post by KJ on May 12, 2013 11:12:55 GMT -5
All of this talk of Marathons and Opal Fruits has got me hankering after a Caribou bar and a packet of Pacers.
EDIT: the original thing that Peru posted was also interesting and must be addressed before anymore sweet related discussion.
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geco
Donut Eater
Posts: 221Likes: 295
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Post by geco on May 12, 2013 11:34:00 GMT -5
I used to own an AMC Pacer -- worst car ever! (this is non sweet related)
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Post by Doctoru2 on May 12, 2013 20:23:49 GMT -5
My father had an AMC too - not a Pacer though (or Gremlin). It was pretty bad, but he had it forever.
As for sweets, at least they are called Cocoa Crispies in the U.S. I take offense to the term "Choco". Hmmph!
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Post by Snowball2 on May 12, 2013 20:59:10 GMT -5
We used to have the Mars bar, but now it is just called a Snickers with almonds. They also renamed Super Sugar Crisp to Super Golden Crisp and Sugar Pops became Corn Pops. The cereals remained the same, just easier to market as healthy-ish.
Peru, I think that your new configuration is very thoughtful and efficient. As long as the fire is not randomly extinguished or turns into something else for a while!
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Post by A Bad Example on May 12, 2013 23:49:36 GMT -5
Overpopulation is an epidemic that has hit all of our towns. Our resources are scarce and need to be used more wisely. It is with this in mind, I have redesigned my health service for the benefit of those who need it most, the elderly. It works like this, a member of the geriatric community takes a tumble within the retirement home. There is an ambulance waiting outside to rush them to the clinic to be badly misdiagnosed by Dr Nick and referred for fatally blundered surgery by Dr Hibbert. Their fresh corpse is then burned in the crematorium (ok, I don't actually have a crematorium, it's just a fire within some white fences. However, please note that they are white fences and not the cheap brown fences. It's 5 * all the way in my town) and finally their ashes are spread in the cemetery (no more using precious land for burying the dead) I believe that I can turn all of this around within 24 hours, at minimum cost and with the satisfaction that I'm doing my bit to protect the environment. I even provide entertainment as grandad watches the fate of his fellow companions whilst enjoying a big bag of popcorn. , I can't believe you missed this space saving feature.  Apparently in this town, they just leave the body on the street for morning pickup. |
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