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Post by amsnake0 on Apr 14, 2013 1:25:11 GMT -5
Okay I have one. Nerd humour: How many ears does Spock have? {Spoiler}A left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier. |
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Post by Steve on Apr 14, 2013 1:28:24 GMT -5
Okay I have one. Nerd humour: How many ears does Spock have? {Spoiler}A left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier. My guess was "3". But for no reason. |
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coda
Lurking for Donuts
Posts: 22 Likes: 10
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Post by coda on Apr 14, 2013 2:15:07 GMT -5
So this hot chick joins a threesome on the golf course, on the first par 3, she knocks it within 10' of the pin. She was really excited. She said "I never made a birdie before and whoever helps me get a birdie, I will give a blowjob to." The first guy looks at her putt and said, "It will break a little to the right." The second guy looked at her putt and said, "It will break a little to the left." The third guy said, "Pick it up, it's a gimme."
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Post by Kymie on Apr 14, 2013 2:58:03 GMT -5
Where would you find a dog with no legs?...
Where you left it!
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albert2k
Donut Snob
Posts: 507Likes: 456
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Post by albert2k on Apr 14, 2013 3:08:09 GMT -5
What told toilet papel to a toothbrush {Spoiler}and you say you have the worst job? |
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Post by SlinkyBeads on Apr 14, 2013 3:43:07 GMT -5
What do jelly babies do that men can't? Spoiler
Come in different colours. |
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Post by A Bad Example on Apr 14, 2013 3:45:41 GMT -5
I know, this is wrong in so many ways. {What should women do instead of complaint a man left the seat up?}
Thank him for raising it. |
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Post by Poon Town on Apr 14, 2013 4:03:11 GMT -5
I'd love to take part in this thread and I normally have a few really good jokes, but I've just had some terrible news this morning.
My best friend has been admitted to hospital because he's addicted to break fluid.
He's been on it for years now, but he's adamant he can stop at any time.
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Post by Poon Town on Apr 14, 2013 4:04:35 GMT -5
Update, while I was there I went to see my really sick friend at the hospital.
I found him masturbating in the morgue.
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Post by Poon Town on Apr 14, 2013 4:06:14 GMT -5
One more tragic update. My friend sadly has passed away, I went to his burial.
When I was there I saw four undertakers carrying someone's coffin around, three hours later the service finished and these four men were STILL carrying around this coffin.
I thought to myself, these idiots have lost the plot.
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Post by lyonsek on Apr 14, 2013 9:50:06 GMT -5
Why did the snake cross the road?? To hide her eggs behind my Volcano Lair!!!! Congrats! This is my fav of the night. I think we can all chuckle at this one. I still have 2 eggs somewhere I can't find (and I did check behind my volcano). The 50 eggs are yours...you just need to send me an invite. |
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Post by lyonsek on Apr 14, 2013 9:53:21 GMT -5
Oh all right. Now you'll know how lame my jokes are. I don't know why but this is one of my favorites. What's green and brown and resides in the 100 Acre Woods? {Spoiler}Winnie's poo Now that's the spirit! And in second place is a joke about poo! What can I say, I was always a sucker for a good Winnie the poo story as a kid. Lsleong, you should see the 39 eggs in your town shortly. Thanks everyone I had a good laugh reading all your posts. |
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Post by Poon Town on Apr 14, 2013 13:57:32 GMT -5
Fix
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Post by Burnin TODI on Apr 14, 2013 14:23:35 GMT -5
Why did the snake cross the road?? To hide her eggs behind my Volcano Lair!!!! Congrats! This is my fav of the night. I think we can all chuckle at this one. I still have 2 eggs somewhere I can't find (and I did check behind my volcano). The 50 eggs are yours...you just need to send me an invite. Thanks....invite sent, looking forward to visiting your town..... |
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Post by lyonsek on Apr 14, 2013 15:20:29 GMT -5
Done...the eggs are nestled safely in your town. Burnin TODIAnd a great town it is |
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Post by tobyspicer683 on Apr 14, 2013 15:31:36 GMT -5
There were 3 tomatoes a dad, a mum and a child walking down a road. The child was lagging behind so the dad said 'come on ketchup' :')
tobyspicer683 feel free to add me anyway!!
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Post by Burnin TODI on Apr 14, 2013 16:23:44 GMT -5
Done...the eggs are nestled safely in your town. Burnin TODIAnd a great town it is Your town is quite the show... I am guessing you bought all the land available? If so, you have managed very well to still meet the 3000 cap, I am impressed... |
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Post by SuperDoll on Apr 14, 2013 18:16:34 GMT -5
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Spoiler
2... But how did they get in there??? |
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Post by lyonsek on Apr 14, 2013 19:01:36 GMT -5
Done...the eggs are nestled safely in your town. Burnin TODIAnd a great town it is Your town is quite the show... I am guessing you bought all the land available? If so, you have managed very well to still meet the 3000 cap, I am impressed... Thanks Burnin. I had to dismantle more of my town than I want to admit, especially some of the more decorative features. I'm waiting until I have everything from the update before doing a remodel. That is assuming of course I don't have carpal tunnel syndrome from tapping thousands of snakes. |
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Post by epicpilot1337 on Apr 15, 2013 16:49:04 GMT -5
And in second place is a joke about poo! What can I say, I was always a sucker for a good Winnie the poo story as a kid. Lsleong, you should see the 39 eggs in your town shortly. Thanks everyone I had a good laugh reading all your posts. CHALLENGE,!! I CHALLENGE THE CALL DUE TO MULTIPLE ENTRYS!!! PROTEST TIME!!! |
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deano
Tire Fire
Posts: 78 Likes: 29
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Post by deano on Apr 15, 2013 18:08:43 GMT -5
Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.
"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Marilyn. "What shall we do?"
"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.
Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.
"What shall I do now?" she shouts.
"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican," �says Sister Helen.
Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.
"Now what?" shouts Sister Marilyn.
"Show him your cross," says Sister Helen.
"Now you're talking," says Sister Marilyn.
She opens the window and shouts, "Get the @&?( off the car!"
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Post by IDGAFF on Apr 15, 2013 18:20:59 GMT -5
{Why do women wear white on their wedding day?}Because all kitchen appliances come in white! |
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Post by mayormccheez on Apr 15, 2013 18:54:22 GMT -5
Everyone loves. Good golf joke:
A husband and wife were playing golf together when the man's wife was severely stung by a bee.
The husband ran quickly back to the clubhouse, looking for a doctor.
"Come quickly!" he said. "my wife's deathly allergic, and he's been stung by a bee!"
"Where was she stung?" asked the doctor.
"Between the first and second holes." shouted the husband.
"Wow," replied the doctor, "she must have an extremely wide stance!"
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Post by LSLeong on Apr 17, 2013 1:03:45 GMT -5
And in second place is a joke about poo! What can I say, I was always a sucker for a good Winnie the poo story as a kid. Lsleong, you should see the 39 eggs in your town shortly. Thanks everyone I had a good laugh reading all your posts. Yay! Can't believe I won with my Pooh joke! Thanks so much lyonsek! I didn't see this post so this explains the large egg drop I got. Doing my happy egg dance  |
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